Asian countries do aged care differently. Here’s what we can learn from them

A listener reached out over the weekend and shared a story about family tension derived from the decision of placing a grandparent in a nursing home - a faux pas in many Asian cultures.

Filial piety teaches us that caring for our elders is a fundamental cultural obligation. From a very young age, my grandparents instilled in me the expectation to look after my parents once they enter their twilight years. It almost feels like Asians are destined to feel generational guilt after being forced into a deal we never signed a contract for. But the sentiment is honestly warranted - our parents left their homes in search of a better life and to lay the foundations for you to have better opportunities and outcomes - so the least we can do is look after them when they are no longer able to do so themselves...right?

Upholding tradition is single handedly the biggest pressure I feel as an Asian person, with the notion of giving back to my parents very high on the agenda. Whilst my parents have stated that they're more than happy to move into a nursing home, there is an inherent feeling of shame and failure. Upon reflection, these feelings appear to have shades of self-indulgence and feed my ego as my willingness to give back upholds my label as a "good Asian". Although this decision is many years away, I still have a lot of work to do in assessing what is truly important, because at the end of the day, doesn't it seem like decisions on health and quality of life should be made based on outcome rather than a rule book we got handed unknowingly?

-Jeff